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<title>turn your back by illusoryy</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26856472">turn your back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/illusoryy/pseuds/illusoryy'>illusoryy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26856472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/illusoryy/pseuds/illusoryy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a monologue from the pov of my original character, cerulean. sequel to 'watching and whispering'.</p>
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<a name="section0001"><h2>turn your back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I know I'm weird, by your standards. I know I move and act and speak differently, but it doesn't- it doesn't make me any less of a person. I think and breathe and feel too, maybe not the exact same way as you, but I do.</p><p>I don't know what you think of me, I can't, it's impossible to know what's going on inside someone else's brain. You don't know what's going on in mine. But what I can do is observe.</p><p>If given the opportunity, you will sit as far away from me as possible. You don't talk to me unless I talk to you, and even then it's a short response, and then you turn your back. You always turn your back on me. I don't see you do that so much with other people.</p><p>I have begun to recognise the things I do that are viewed as strange aren't actually a bad thing. I tap my fingers on the edges of furniture when I concentrate. I move when I listen to music. I bounce my leg when- well, I do that all the time. Even when I'm going to sleep. And those things aren't bad or evil or whatever you seem to see them as.</p><p>You look at me weirdly. And I am tentative to say that, seeing as I don't always read people's responses to me correctly, but you do. I'll say something you think is weird, and you'll give me that look you give, and then you turn your back on me. It happens every time.</p><p>I think of you as one of my best friends, and you barely tolerate me. Y'know, I read the other day that's pretty common for people like me. One-sided friendships. One person gives it all they can give, the other gives a passive nod in return and then turns back to their real friends. That's what you do.</p><p>I'm so, so tired of being barely tolerated. I'm exhausted. I want to let myself exist peacefully, I want to let myself do all my little strange things and not repress them like the world has taught me to, and I want to do it without you turning your back on me. Is that too much to ask?</p><p>Please don't turn your back on me again.</p>
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